Relationships and Women

Ughh! I have kept an unhealthy amount of unpublished blogs in my draft and this one is one of them.

What is it to be a women today? Painful, exhausting, annoying, happy and cheerful. It can be all of the emotions just varying moment to moment but definitely like this.

This happens to me every single week

This perpetual motion of sickness that goes on and then comes relationships.

I wont be giving a movie head to head. I just want to say the message in the story telling is brilliant.

Alice and Josh

Alice (Dakota Fanning’s) character is unsure about her relationship with Josh. Haven’t ever explored what she wants to do makes her question that she should embark on a journey alone. She breaks up with Josh meets Robin, her coworker who makes her hookup with Tom. The level of repellant, Tom uses on his one night stands makes Alice regret her decision. Tom is allergic to serious relationships. Alice then falls for David who is a single dad, he is not a bad person but just doesn’t open up emotionally to her. Because of his past it stays a closed circle between him and his daughter. She gets away as she realises that whatever step she has taken is turning into a disaster.

Tom and Alice
David and Alice

Alice has relationship problems with chaos running around her.

Her sister Meg (Leslie Mann) is a doctor, she is tired of the players and doesn’t date anyone. She works tired-some hours therefore doesn’t have time for sleep. One day she is sitting around staring at a baby and wonders to herself if she wants one. She eventually chooses to go get a artificial insemination. She never looks for a boyfriend but stumbles upon Ken (Jake Lacy, he seriously plays a great guy in all his movies. Somehow he always gets a girlfriend pregnant in his movies). She is not ready for something emotionally scaring and scary. So she keeps him away.

Ken and Meg

Lucy played by Allison Brie is a writer. I dont know what she does apart from using her neighbours wifi and crashing her laptop. Lucy wants to find the perfect man. She has a list of “how he should be” which she tells Tom. Tom is not big on relationship being the perfect opposite. Tom helps Lucy out from time to time eventually falling for her (The unavailable chick). Lucy wanting a man who commits and with her checklist she eventually finds George, who turns out to handle her well.

Lucy and George

The drama of entirety sits on Alice’s life as she explores not staying single, by going from one relationship to a disaster to a closed relationship. She finds herself being used and discarded and she decides she is not in one to be a used pile of sand.

For many people who nagged that the movie focuses on a girl who cant zip her dress. Some people need help, specially those who live alone. Try getting out of tight dress while living alone. I have tried it feels like smothering for half an hour to get out.

Here comes Robin played by Rebel Wilson, She is an easy going party girl. She works at a job of under qualification while having knowledge that of a doctor. Apartment is 10 times bigger than the one she keeps hanging out in and she opens Alice’s eyes. Alice feels that Robin was a …. to call all 3 people she dated on her birthday but it makes her realise that she wants to be alone and get to know who she is, she says she wants that but the moment someone walks in her life she forgets who she is and follows whatever the other wants to.

She realises this when Josh who bumps into her with his family, tells her he is with someone else. And on her birthday, he was such a good man that he wanted to have sex with her just to be sure that he wants to marry the current girlfriend.

These women teach us that being single is not that bad. When one uses their time to do what they aim for, being single or not doesnt really matter. Finding someone shouldnt be a mental exercise where one keeps pulling strings inside their head to get through their day.

Based on so far there are types of men I want to classify.

The Boy – The one that never grows up. Doesn’t want any responsibility for his life and you have to become a mother than be in a relationship. The boy is necessarily not a bad person but it can take a toll on your mental health as you would have to constantly do their job.

Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

The Cad- The one who constantly makes you feel miserable by being with him. Who makes you question you insanity by openly galavants through people of your acquaintance. Player, cheater, liar, the insecure bully that never takes responsibility for the hurt causes to women but instead preaches it for his entire life.

Jeffrey from The Wedding Date
Conner Mead and Uncle Wayne

These men always look to disrespect women and get them to bed that is their only goal. And they are huge waste of time, emotions and money. They can be flaky, coming in too hot, spending and investing their money and time and will disappear once they are done using you.

The emotionally disturbed one – The one who has optimism that his ex who cheated on is going to love him because he has improved himself.

Pat

The Good Man- I dont know if he exists. He is responsible, loving, caring, puts his significant other before him. Not on pedestal but as an equal. He doesnt believe in being insecure. If his significant other is doing better in career, he supports her and even it his love life doesn’t go as he plans it to be. He has good amount of respect for the women who chooses someone else.

Jack Davenport in Pirates, in Wedding Date, in anything

Good men are too precious, they dont look for other women because they have chosen to love the one they have and be happy.

The Simp – read the blog on that one.

Ask oneself, do you know who you are? What you want to be? When you know the answer, you will be a lot like Lucy. Knowing exactly what you want and looking out for your man. If you keep going around in circles confused and constantly wanting a relationship and a man your life will never be yours.

Being alone is not at all bad. If you feel lonely, unhappy alone. Welcome!! Welcome to the club where you feel temporary emotions. Have fun with your alone time, learn a new hobby, take up cooking classes or dance classes, read a new book or sign up for your solace where you find peace no matter what.

Relationship shouldnt be a pain in your …

It shouldn’t give you butterflies, if you get butterflies thats a warning sign to get out. Don’t mistake it for love. The misread signs of what a relationship should be is painted by movies where every guy is a player who slept with 1000 women and suddenly falls for one who doesnt show him any interest.

Dont be that women! Have your dreams, have your life, a relationship is not a cake. It is the cherry on top. Your life itself is a cake, you bake the kind you want to, a man is not there to complete you. He is there as a companion.

Idk how a good man is in real life. All the things I said about a good man is a movie reference that of a real man. But I know who is a wrong kind.

If a man is… (add to sentences below)

…Making you feel angry, being pulled and pushed every-time you are having a decent conversation and get blamed for just having a conversation.

… insecure about the way you look, the things you own, your achievements, etc.

… humiliate you for no reason at all. Plays with you. Toys with you, calls you one day and flakes on you. Then comes back to make you a doormat.

… asks you to change who you are, how you look, constantly making you compromise while he doesn’t nothing at all.

I can seriously write a book on how toxic one can be if married to anyone of these. Maybe not marry but even be around such people. It will be exhausting and I am pretty sure one will turn into Amy Dunne.

Because the level of toxicity you let in your life long term is going to affect your mental health.

You dont need to force yourself because your peers are dating or are getting married. You dont need to do it because others are saying so and putting ideas in your head.

Be alone rather than being with a toxic one.

If you do find the one, cherish but never let them know what they mean to you. Never spoil anyone to make them be the dominating one. Be an equal.

Learn to filter out the garbage when you find yourself encountering one. Dont hurt yourself or mistake that your life will be shit because such people come your way. World has such people everywhere.

Always keep your friends close, never abandon them for your significant other. Why abandon anyone when you can keep them in your life they are meant to be there.

Dont fall in the .… sand

I hope some of the above things made you laugh. Don’t take life too seriously. If you haven’t met the one by now. Enjoy your life, do what you like doing, embrace life. What is meant to be, is meant to be. Que sera sera.

Thats all for today.

Thank you for reading.

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