Ever since I was 16 I had dreamt of living on my own, with my own set of rules and become happy living.
A decade later nothing had changed. I was still dependent and pissed at myself and my life. The fun thing about life is that everything you ever asked for or desire, does come to you. Be it faith or fate, I was always doing my own thing but never focused on something.
I just feel this, I dont have a goal and I dont think I can have one. I can function without it. In last 5 years I had no clue, I sulked a lot, cried a lot and everyday. I worked my ass off in every place possible. I stopped each time my respect was being trampled who thought that my kindness will hinder me from stopping them. Each day was a fight with others and each day was a survival mode. And it has not changed much. I had a lot of anger over horrible people trying to control me or harass me. I thought how can I silence the anger but that wasnt the answer I knew that.
I hoped to look at beautiful flowers and wished I had a good garden and you know what? Day in and day out, I had created one.
I always wanted to do art or things that seem calmer. If have ever tried fine arts, you would know that you need to have a thought or image in your head or it can be something based on just your feeling. But the main task is remaining in focused on that paper or any material you are drawing on. Being able to focus all the energy in that and making something extraordinary.
I wanted a job and I had got it. Pandemic hit and salary was cut to a very minimal low. I decided to either quit and focus on myself or get a job where I get high paid salary. I went to government hospital, got myself a job in the worst times. For 2 years in a continuous process I worked in Covid. I must have taken a lot of holidays because my body was not supporting my stressed life. Everyday I would see a person die, even though I have seen that as a child. This time it had affected me because I was part of it. I was connected as I was responsible, but there was no stopping covid. Even today it is still rising and everyone is tired of losing someone or their own health.
This year I felt more lost so I asked if I could get a job around. As weird as my life gets a job offer came to me from another city. A good job, with a place, with a reasonable salary. Within just days I had to hunt for flats and get my things here.
Things you need to know when you move
For a girl, I think priorities are different than a guy. So my perspective is from my point of view.
1. Plan ahead. Seems like a given but I couldn’t do so. Remember the time, date and day on which you are going hunting for places. There are times when all the places get taken in just a day.
2. I used a lot of apps just to get a feel of what we can find. Decide pre-hand if you want to live in a flat, a house or a villa. The rents seem to skyrocket at times therefor you have no options other than taking a roommate and divide. The compromise comes with living with strangers, having to share a space means having to have frequent inconveniences and lastly no privacy.
3. I wanted to live alone so I tried hunting flats in the area where I will be working. Part of my experiences are that one must experience the place rather than watching photos and saying yes. So look for your preferences.
4. I got a flat in my friends building but because it was in no time. I had taken it, the building is still unfinished. I wanted it for temporary basis since there are problems with water, electricity, safety of my pet and convenience.
Think prior if you want unfurnished or furnished flat. Which direction and view you want. What floor you will be living on. The area of the flat as per the space you require. Working lights and power sockets, working water supply with less problems of hard water, etc. Whether you have amenities or not you should definetly make a list of wants and must haves.
Dont sacrifice essentials for any reason because if you have chosen to stay and work you will face problems daily or struggle with them.
5. Essential Amenties
* Security in the premises like functioning CCTV camera and a guard.
* Water Supply – drinking, washing, cooking, bathing all the daily needs should be met.
* Electricity- a place with a good supply and no everyday power-cuts. Power backup in times of powercuts.
* Clean premises as well as regular collection of garbage.
* Food supplies nearby. Restaurants, Shops, medical stores and hospital.
* Patio or Balcony
*Privacy be it from neighbours or from the society.
6. Get acquainted with the area because google maps is not going to help. The directions matter because if you dont know where you are going you can get end up in a deadend.
7. Pay the amount which seems reasonable, if the area is costing you 1 lac but has no facilities it is not worth it. Dont look superficially and say yes to thinks. If you live in your house what are the problems you have comprised with think that in mind and give those a shot.
8. Always try to get flats through owners rather than a third party like a Broker because that will add to your expenses. You will have to evaluate that where you are living will it be equal to your salary! If you are supported or have backups then you can go for it but if not dont go looking for rents which have high cost.
If you want things your way, you might have to pay higher price because quality costs.
9. When you are going for flat hunting realise this that in short notice you wont find a desirable flat which fits yours needs. That takes months or more than 6 months to find a place.
Keep on searching and find a temporary place.
10. Traffic and the distance, the timings. The most important thing is to get to the place you work on time, after your done working having some time for yourself. If you are travelling 2-3 hours and coming home just for sleep. It wont work unless you want that to be your life.
11. After you have taken a flat make it official, make a tenant agreement. Pay the amount you both have agreed on and the ifs and donts.
First few weeks feels like a shock, I had come first and then my mom had promised to shift my things exactly as they are. That sh.t didnt happen.
12. Always! I repeat! always! Pack, label or to whomever you have given the job of packing make sure they do it in front of your own eyes. Make sure they dont dump your stuff or break your valuables like they did to mine. I must have cried and lost my mind over how it had been handled. Nearly all my plants have died. And keep these boxes aside – daily Clothes (including undergarments), Cleaning supplies, toiletries, cooking things – knife, scissors, spoons and fork, pan, plates, one big pot and small pot, a cooker, Towel, Blanket, bedsheet.
13. Morning routine for everyone is brushing their teeth, wearing clean washed clothes, having some breakfast, lunch and dinner and in between having place clean with cleaning supplies. Bring the necessary items which will help for this. Unless you are like me and bring your entire house with you.
It is nerve wreaking to move to a new city, for me its is equal to a daily episode of a sitcom except Im not happy. It feels like I cannot relax for whatever reason. I hope it gets better.
Here is to our new beginning. Cheers